Making Writing as Real as Possible

“We should make a speech to kindergarteners because they have such short attention spans, we could make a really short speech—just get up and say, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’ and then sit down!” This was the idea some of my 11th graders floated when I told them they could make up their own occasion, audience, and purpose for a speech on the topic of community.

I said, “Sure, you could make your audience kindergarteners. And if your purpose was to get them to actually be more loving, how effective would it be to repeat a memory verse they’ve probably heard before? You’re right that they have shorter attention spans. The challenge is to catch a kindergartener’s attention, touch his world, convince and motivate him, all within a very short amount of time. For example, you might start with a story of when you were in kindergarten—ethos. Give them a couple of specific examples of ways they can love their neighbors. What does that look like in kindergarten?” 

“Oh…that would be hard,” I see her actually envision herself standing in front of a group of 5-year-olds. “I don’t think I’ll do kindergarteners.”

When the writing audience and occasion are as real as possible (even though it’s totally hypothetical), writing questions, learning, and understanding become correspondingly real. It also helps when writers have as much choice as possible, when I provide targeted instruction and models in mini-lessons, and when I confer with students to help them apply that instruction and modeling. As AP language students wrap up the quarter’s unit on The Individual and Community, the assignment is to write a speech about why and how to create stable communities—specific occasion, audience, and purpose to be chosen by the student. Some have chosen to address 8th graders in transition to high school, others their class at graduation in a year and some. One student is addressing colleagues about workplace community.

Some of the mini-lessons have included the following: 

• Reviewing pieces read for rhetorical modes and organization. (Student observations overheard as they made comparisons: “Aria” told one story and brought out various argument points where applicable; “Walking the Path between Worlds” started and ended with a song; many of the pieces were about going from a small community to a larger one, and used home community words—Navaho or Spanish, for example—so we could use Japanese like that.)
• Where and why to place a thesis, depending on how interested or hostile an audience is.
• Using stories and analogies for ethos, pathos, organization, and making it memorable.
• How to connect with an audience and acknowledge an occasion in the opening lines.
• For models I’ve used past student samples as well as the 3 TED Talks “The Danger of a Single Story,” “The Power of Introverts,” and “How to Start a Movement.” 

Conferring with writers used to be really intimidating to me. But it got a lot easier when I realized that all I had to do was tell them at the end of the mini-lesson that I was going to come around and ask them how they were applying it. Here are some of the writing conversations I've had with 11th graders as I’ve conferred with them about the following 2 questions: What is your subject, occasion, audience, and purpose? Tell me about your thesis—what is it, where is it, and why? (And, of course, "What other questions or concerns do you have?")

• Student: I don’t really have a specific audience. This is general information that is relevant to anyone. Me: But if it is relevant to anyone, it is also personal to no one. Picking an occasion, audience, and purpose help you personalize. The topic of community may be applicable to kindergarteners, middle schoolers, young moms, business executives…but how do you get a kindergartener’s attention vs. a business executive?
• Student: It’s getting so long—there’s so much to say on this topic! Me: If we shift the focus from what you want to say to what your audience needs to hear, understand, and/or do, then it’s easier to think about what length and content will most help them do that, and what will become counterproductive with attention span, lunch next, etc.
• Student: I changed my whole context from running for US president to talking to colleagues at my work about community. Me: That is currently a hot topic! I bet you could look up some really good resources. I know it’s a big thing in education—community in schools. I read a lot of blogs and articles about it. Student: Really? They HAVE that? Next day, me: Did you find any good resources? Student: Oh, yes! This one is really good—it gives steps to creating positive workplace community. And I have a couple of TED Talks I want to watch. Note to self: Best thing learned here is that internet research can be done for real issues in real life, not just school assignments. (Feedback from peer: This is REAL so anything you say will be brilliant, but since you actually have worked, you could give personal experiences.)
• Student: Do we have to do citations? Me: How will that serve your ethos with your audience?
• Student: If I have my thesis at the end, do I have to have 3 points? Me: Remember “The Danger of a Single Story”? One point with many illustrations. Remember the student sample analogy with 2 points? Three is just a general guideline. If you have a reason, you can always vary.

On the day students brought their rough drafts for peer feedback, we started by brainstorming the questions they might want to ask their reviewer. The best student-proposed question was “If you were the target audience at the given occasion, what would you walk away from this speech not just knowing but motivated to do?”

It’s the Mary Poppins moment when I feel my work is complete: These guys know they have each other for their writing community, and they know the questions to ask to get the answers they need to make their writing even better.