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| Rice ripening toward harvest--the image of flourishing that meets my eye every day on my walk to school |
The summer I was 15, my family moved, and my understanding of community was born. The church that had called my dad as pastor, 350 miles away, had a thriving young adult group of college graduates and young married couples. It also had only one other high schooler.
The young adult group, however, embraced the two of us teenagers, modeling healthy relationships and immersing us in their community. They included us in their Wednesday night Bible studies, came to my basketball and volleyball games, bought me my first pair of hiking boots, got me every summer job I ever had, and one brave soul even parked his Peugeot in the parsonage driveway while he went on vacation, gave me one lesson in driving a stick shift, and told me to use it if I needed.They were my formative example of a Christian community flourishing in terms of healthy relationships. I want the students at my international Christian school to experience similar flourishing as they develop healthy relationships with teachers.
But who will provide those healthy relationships for the teachers? For me, experiencing healthy relationships at school is vital. When I experience vibrant, healthy relationships, I experience joy and energy (instead of discouragement and a feeling like I’m slogging through things). And when I experience healthy relationships, I’m better able to build healthy relationships with my colleagues and my students.
As I look back on my 35 years in international Christian education, I’m grateful to school leaders (heads of school, principals, and department chairs) for demonstrating trustworthiness, support, respect, empowerment, and Christ-centeredness, five building blocks of healthy relationships. I deeply hope you are experiencing each of those building blocks consistently, daily.
You might be wondering, “What exactly does that look like? What exactly does it look like for school leaders to demonstrate trustworthiness, support, respect, empowerment, and Christ-centeredness?” Let me explain.
(1) When staff experience trustworthy leadership, they feel can rely on leaders to have both the character and expertise to do the job. The leadership is authentic, realistic, and reliable, as opposed to inaccurate, unrealistic, and unreliable. It could look like turning to a principal for help with a discipline problem knowing she wants to help, not blame; will have multiple strategies to try; and will follow through until the problem is resolved.
(2) When staff experience supportive leadership, they feel that the leaders see their strengths and struggles, are cheering them on, and have their backs. The leadership is understanding, encouraging, and protective, as opposed to suspicious, discouraging, and defensive. It could look like genuine curiosity about class displays or offering to field a parent complaint.
(3) When staff experience respectful leadership, they feel the leaders rely on them to have both the character and expertise to do the job. The leadership is appreciative, considerate, and humble, as opposed to unaware, inconsiderate, and self-absorbed. In an international setting especially, it is crucial to be aware of what respect looks like to different cultures, to show respect across the cultures, to be sure all cultures feel respected and give respect. It could look like making a clear explanation of what western education is like available to teachers from non-western cultures (see here or here). Or it could look like a specific, targeted thank you, or like a leader who teaches one or more classes investing the time to consistently attend meetings of the department she teaches in.
(4) When staff experience empowering leadership, they feel invited into collaborative purpose-building and trusted to make decisions that will further that purpose—rather than feeling micro-managed. The leadership gives responsibility, freedom, and trust, rather than being controlling in terms of vision, information, and resources. It could look like staff trying project-based learning, book clubs, blogging, podcasting, or Skype connections with classes in other countries. (Sometimes empowering leadership is terrifying. For me, it looked like being invited into the position of department chair and then curriculum coordinator when I did not feel prepared or inclined—but the leaders who invited me saw my potential better than I did!)
(5) When staff experience Christ-centered leadership, they are welcomed into the spiritual life of a school-centered disciple-making leader. They come to understand what it means, at least to one person, to be a person, educator, leader, and colleague who loves Jesus, wants to be more like him, and wants the school to be a place where students experience God’s love, develop their God-given potential, and learn about God, his world, and their place in it. It could look like leaders starting every meeting with a short devotional relevant to an important aspect of the school vision or participating in regular staff prayer times.
Bottom line? Staff tend to reproduce their experience for students. Experiencing healthy relationships with leadership will set staff up to have healthy relationships with colleagues and with students. To this end, my deep hope is that you are consistently experiencing trustworthy, supportive, respectful, empowering Christ-centered leadership.
How about you? What’s your experience with healthy/unhealthy relationships? What type of relationship with leadership helps you flourish? What type of relationship with leadership helps you develop healthy relationships with students?
But who will provide those healthy relationships for the teachers? For me, experiencing healthy relationships at school is vital. When I experience vibrant, healthy relationships, I experience joy and energy (instead of discouragement and a feeling like I’m slogging through things). And when I experience healthy relationships, I’m better able to build healthy relationships with my colleagues and my students.
As I look back on my 35 years in international Christian education, I’m grateful to school leaders (heads of school, principals, and department chairs) for demonstrating trustworthiness, support, respect, empowerment, and Christ-centeredness, five building blocks of healthy relationships. I deeply hope you are experiencing each of those building blocks consistently, daily.
You might be wondering, “What exactly does that look like? What exactly does it look like for school leaders to demonstrate trustworthiness, support, respect, empowerment, and Christ-centeredness?” Let me explain.
(1) When staff experience trustworthy leadership, they feel can rely on leaders to have both the character and expertise to do the job. The leadership is authentic, realistic, and reliable, as opposed to inaccurate, unrealistic, and unreliable. It could look like turning to a principal for help with a discipline problem knowing she wants to help, not blame; will have multiple strategies to try; and will follow through until the problem is resolved.
(2) When staff experience supportive leadership, they feel that the leaders see their strengths and struggles, are cheering them on, and have their backs. The leadership is understanding, encouraging, and protective, as opposed to suspicious, discouraging, and defensive. It could look like genuine curiosity about class displays or offering to field a parent complaint.
(3) When staff experience respectful leadership, they feel the leaders rely on them to have both the character and expertise to do the job. The leadership is appreciative, considerate, and humble, as opposed to unaware, inconsiderate, and self-absorbed. In an international setting especially, it is crucial to be aware of what respect looks like to different cultures, to show respect across the cultures, to be sure all cultures feel respected and give respect. It could look like making a clear explanation of what western education is like available to teachers from non-western cultures (see here or here). Or it could look like a specific, targeted thank you, or like a leader who teaches one or more classes investing the time to consistently attend meetings of the department she teaches in.
(4) When staff experience empowering leadership, they feel invited into collaborative purpose-building and trusted to make decisions that will further that purpose—rather than feeling micro-managed. The leadership gives responsibility, freedom, and trust, rather than being controlling in terms of vision, information, and resources. It could look like staff trying project-based learning, book clubs, blogging, podcasting, or Skype connections with classes in other countries. (Sometimes empowering leadership is terrifying. For me, it looked like being invited into the position of department chair and then curriculum coordinator when I did not feel prepared or inclined—but the leaders who invited me saw my potential better than I did!)
(5) When staff experience Christ-centered leadership, they are welcomed into the spiritual life of a school-centered disciple-making leader. They come to understand what it means, at least to one person, to be a person, educator, leader, and colleague who loves Jesus, wants to be more like him, and wants the school to be a place where students experience God’s love, develop their God-given potential, and learn about God, his world, and their place in it. It could look like leaders starting every meeting with a short devotional relevant to an important aspect of the school vision or participating in regular staff prayer times.
Bottom line? Staff tend to reproduce their experience for students. Experiencing healthy relationships with leadership will set staff up to have healthy relationships with colleagues and with students. To this end, my deep hope is that you are consistently experiencing trustworthy, supportive, respectful, empowering Christ-centered leadership.
How about you? What’s your experience with healthy/unhealthy relationships? What type of relationship with leadership helps you flourish? What type of relationship with leadership helps you develop healthy relationships with students?
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